New England Patriots on Paper: Tim Tebow's Big Adventure

If Pee Wee Herman played professional football, he would somehow end up winning everyone over and saving the day.  And getting the girl.

Staff meetings would be in his cozy basement.  Chuck would be in charge of the exercise bikes, Amazing Larry has the orange slices and Large Marge would be in charge of transportation.  Pee Wee would be the quarterback, Francis a tight end and the Satan's Helpers motorcycle gang would serve as his line.

How could he lose?

In his quest to find his stolen bicycle in the film Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Pee Wee encounters the confused prison escapee Mickey, the rail-riding, sardine-eating hobo John, a very large jealous boyfriend named Andy and a group of bikers in bar, the afore mentioned "Satan's Helpers"...

...he hitchhikes to Texas on the advice of a jaded old fortune teller only to find that she jobbed him.  When he finally does find his bike, everything comes together and everyone who were once enemies come to appreciate his dedication to finding something that he totally cared about.

And then Pee Wee and the perpetually enamoured, would-be girlfriend Dottie ride off into the glare of the screen at the drive in, leaving the audience curiously certain that absolutely nothing happened between the two.

And this from a 5' 5", 98 pound bow tie-wearing salad tosser.  If he can find his bike after going through so much, shouldn't a 6' 3", 245 pound Heisman Trophy winner be able to find a job in the National Football League?

Well, he's found one, and the media and fans alike are weighing in on the biggest hot-button topic to hit Foxboro since Bill Belichick fired Wes Welker.

Amid wild rumor and speculation, former Broncos' and Jets' quarterback Tim Tebow was signed by the New England Patriots on Monday, but nobody really knows what to make of it.  On one hand you have the "Mario's Magic Shop" crowd, who think that Tebow could come in and run some Wildcat formations or other trickery...

...while on the other you have the people who laugh out loud at the notion, like when Pee Wee thought the Alamo had a basement, as the fortune teller had told him, and he was forced to endure their scrutiny.

In reality, it's somewhere in between the two, because Tebow's presence alone must be game-planned for, whether on the football field or a quick attempt at an incognito trip to Subway, the logistics of which would be an unmitigated nightmare.

Far from the creepy persona that actor Paul Reubens portrays in the Pee Wee Herman brand of comedy works, Tebow is nevertheless a controversy magnet, his every movement followed like the multitudes following Jesus - so it will be interesting to see how the conservative cloak and dagger, NSA manner of controlling information that the Patriots employ as standard operating procedure is able to shield Tebow from the outside world...

...because that's what he needs.  There is no place in the civilized world or Canada that the charismatically churchy Tebow can go without being recognized - and his spectrum reaches far beyond simple football fandom, which can be very disturbing to people like Belichick who want to control everything.

Which begs the question, why bring him in?  Some speculation goes to the Florida/Urban Meyer connection, doing a solid for his good buddy who thought of Tebow like a son, while still others accuse Belichick as feeding his own ego and signing Tebow just because he could.

Again, the truth is probably somewhere in the middle - but make no mistake: The Patriots do not need Tim Tebow - which is exactly why New England is the perfect place for Tim Tebow, because at the end of the day this is just a good coach giving a guy he respects an opportunity.

Not just an opportunity to make the football team - especially since there really doesn't seem to be a place for him - rather, an opportunity to work on his game and to learn from Belichick and Tom Brady under the secretive umbrella that the tight-lipped Patriots provide.

Because Tim Tebow needs the Patriots - and by all accounts, he's willing to do whatever Bill Belichick asks of him - which speaks to what we already know of the Heisman Trophy winner from the University of Florida, the ultimate team player...

...and somewhere down the road, when a Hollywood producer decides to do a film of the life of Belichick, the Tim Tebow signing will be made into a turning point in the fortunes of the eccentric head coach, where either he's finally gone too far and laughed out of the NFL or he turns the entire football world on it's ear and the Patriots' dynasty regenerates.

Either way, perhaps James Brolin is available to portray Belichick, just as he did for Pee Wee Herman - punching in a cryptologic sequence of numbers into a key pad which sets in motion a series of incandescent lights and switches, the ivy covered wall to the practice facility opening slowly to reveal Belichick's shiny whistle...

New England Patriots on Paper: 4.2 yards and a cloud of rubber tire pellets

It was early in October 1976 and a wide-eyed Bill Belichick stood on the sidelines of the brand new Pontiac Silverdome as his Detroit Lions hosted the New England Patriots...

...this assuming that Belichick has been wide-eyed about anything but cheeseburgers, classic rock or stomping anything that got in his way before or since, so one has to assume that the year 1976 -  when kids just coming out of school were weaned on Led Zeppelin, Bachman Turner Overdrive and Mickey-D's, and were witnesses to the brutality and horrors of the Vietnam War - was smack in the middle of Belichick's formative years and have a great deal to do with his obsession to control his environment, as well as everyone else's.

Belichick, just a year removed from Wesleyan College and earning his stripes as a special teams assistant first under head coach Rick Fazano and then Tommy Hudspeth was in the midst of his second season as an NFL coach and his first with the Lions - a mediocre season which saw them eventually finish 6-8 and afterthoughts in the NFC Central behind the Minnesota Vikings and Chicago Bears...

...it seems like a lifetime ago - and for anyone under 30, it is - but Belichick's memory of the game is crystal clear, intrigued by the size and power of the Patriots as a whole and equally mesmerized by the innovative schemes of Chuck Fairbanks.

Some years later Belichick would proclaim that the Patriots team that the Lions had soundly beaten that day was perhaps the best in franchise history - their size, speed and philosophy on both sides of the ball to physically overwhelm their opponent, to crush their will with violent overtones and cutting-edge design and skill.

At the center of the offensive design were innovators Ray Perkins and Ron Erhardt who along with Fairbanks built a nearly unstoppable balance of force predicated on the size and versatility of their running backs - boasting three backs that topped the 700 yard plateau, Sam "Bam" Cunningham, Andy Johnson and Don Calhoun leading a rushing attack that gained nearly 3,000 yards in 14 games.

210 yards per game average on the ground is unheard of these days, but if Belichick has his way - and he does - the 2013 New England Patriots will attempt to approach that level of ground production.

1976 saw a 6' 3" 225 pound fullback lead the team in rushing. The Patriots carried five backs on the roster, plus the wild card of having the tough as nails Steve Grogan shredding defenses with a 6.6 yards per carry average - Johnson, Calhoun, Horace Ivory and Ike Forte joining Cunningham to pound defenses for an average of five yards per carry...

...which puts last season's 4.2 yards per carry and nearly 2,200 yard effort to shame, but considering that the NFL is now a passing league in which fundamental football has transformed from the run setting up the play action pass, to the play action pass being offset by the run - the Patriots' 136 yards per game was good enough to be the 7th ranked rushing attack in the NFL, but not good enough for Belichick.

At issue was a running game that in its infancy showed an a certain immaturity, a running game that was at times all about glitz and glamour and lacked a killer mentality.  Though it's tough to find fault with Stevan Ridley's 1263 yard effort in 2012, the running game fell into chaos with the rest of the offense when they ran into a gritty Baltimore Ravens' squad in the AFC title tilt...

...Ridley flinched, ducking his head in anticipation of a Bernard Pollard (who else) hit and getting knocked unconscious and losing the football at a critical juncture - a direct result of a mind set that was focused on finesse and technique rather than punishing the defense.

Before Ridley lost the ball, the Patriots were very much in the game and driving - the rest of the game was a comedy of errors and the horror of being dominated, the result was watching the Ravens celebrate the championship on the Patriots logo, which left a very bad taste in Belichick's mouth.

It doesn't matter how dominating the offense was at points in the regular season, because when it failed at the zenith of the season, it counted for absolutely nothing - and the running game was part of that.

His team needed to develop a tough mentality, to exude a confidence that allows for a back to punish a defender, to deliver the hit and run them over, not flinch and absorb the hit and get jacked up and lose the football - and this offseason, the Patriots are accomplishing just that...

The draft day acquisition of LeGarrette Blount from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers should have told New England Patriots fans everything they needed to know about the mind-set of the team going into the 2013 season.

Blount is a throwback to an earlier time, to the days of Cunningham, Johnson and Calhoun - and was brought in to instill that mentality into the running game.  A bigger back with a history of physical confrontation, the bad boy from the University of Oregon carries over that attitude with the ball in his hands, not trying to dodge anyone, rather, to run them over - to deliver the blow, to punish the defender.

The message got through to Ridley, who showed up at OTA's looking like Tony Stark had gotten hold of him, truly sculpted and at least 10 pounds heavier than his 2012 playing weight of 220 pounds - the hope being that the transformation will give Ridley the confidence to that he can deliver the blow and punish the would-be tackler...

...not necessarily just to improve upon last year's 4.2 yards and a cloud of rubber tire pellets, but to punish and dominate defenses while they're at it - to break their will and not give them the chance to hang around or sneak back into games.

There are other options in the backfield with speedy Shane Vereen providing a slashing change up to Ridley's hammering style, while Blount, Brandon Bolden, Leon Washington and even Aaron Hernandez will vie for reps in different situations - but the backfield belongs to Ridley...

...and with the entire offense becoming bigger and faster, can the running game approach the violent intent of that fabled 1976 squad?  Only the performance of the backs and the offensive line will answer that question. 

A fullback-sized Blount is game, as is a chiseled Ridley - can a string of brutalized defenders be far behind?

New England Patriots on Paper: Belichick stirs the "Haterade", signs free agent Tebow

The polarizing personality in the National Football League is now a member of the New England Patriots.

It doesn't matter what team you root for, what walk of life you hail from or religious denomination you profess, the name Tim Tebow elicits some manner of emotional response from just about everyone...

...and now that he's a member of perhaps the most hated team in the league, the emotional responses should be amplified to that of the fictional rock band Spinal Tap...cranked up to 11.

With mandatory minicamp starting in Foxboro on Tuesday, the already intriguing position battles have momentarily taken a surreal back seat to the signing of the Heisman Trophy winner from the University of Florida, who was drafted by Patriots' offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels while he was the head coach of the Denver Broncos.

Tebow spent last season as the New York Jets change-up plan that never materialized, a move that was speculated by many at the time that was meant to keep New England from signing him, which was seemingly confirmed as Tebow was seldom used in any capacity and languished on the sidelines.

The move comes on the heels of Bill Belichcik having to defend himself over remarks that he "Hates" Tebow as a football player, which he firmly rebutted:  "for anyone to have represented that is the way I feel about Tim Tebow is completely untrue, baseless and irresponsible. It is unfortunate that something so inaccurate was reported."

and in the same breath Belichick addressed a question from a member of the Boston media about the possibility of signing him, since he didn't hate him, saying, "I wouldn't get into the probability of us pursuing any free agent. Every single player has strengths and weaknesses."

Belichick and Tebow have been connected with each other in the media since the two had dinner together prior to the 2010 draft, and Tebow's name had popped up on occasion as a possibility for the Patriots in free agency.

Ed Werder from ESPN is reporting that Tebow was signed with the intention of competing for a backup quarterback gig, while Mike Freeman of CBSSports states that Tebow will "study a great deal at Tight End" - and this publication believes that Tebow will be used primarily as an H-Back, lining up all over the formation.

It will not be known for sure where Tebow fits in this Patriots' offense, but one thing is for sure:  The hate for the New England Patriots will probably climb to new heights.

New England Patriots on Paper: Tape cheetahs to their backs...

Taping Cheetahs to people's backs is a phenomenon unheard of mere months ago until a popular communications company suggested in a commercial that the practice could cause old women to go faster - so new and weird and innovative is the idea that some are surprised that New England Patriots' coach Bill Belichick didn't generate the concept.

After all, the Patriots have been without elite speed in their receivers corps since a certain Randy Moss was run out of town, and while last year's tandem of Wes Welker and Brandon Lloyd were reportedly faster than old women, it wasn't by much....

...so...Cheetahs.  Not any laws that I can find in regards to taping cheetahs to people's backs, and nothing in the NFL rules books either, but the idea - while provocative - would have too many drawbacks to have long-term success in the league.

For example, what happens when the beast gets hungry during a game?  Cheetahs have a top speed of 75 miles per hour, and there's lots of big, slow meals walking around on a football field, plus they'd knock over the Gatorade trying to get a drink out of the huge vats to wash down snackage.

And things really start to go south when the tailgaters drive into the parking lot only to see vultures circling the stadium, looking for leftovers...so perhaps it's best to leave the idea of duct taping large wild animals to people to a kids' imagination, where things like these aren't discussed...

...besides, Belichick took care of the speed issue this offseason - at least as far as the needs of his Patriots...

The New England Patriots' receiver's corps are going to look much different in 2013 than it did last season - something that shouldn't be too difficult to accomplish.

Gone is last season's tandem of Welker and Lloyd - a fair duo that got the job done every time - except when it really counted - and in their stead comes an intriguing mix of veterans and young greyhounds that in themselves can cause mismatches in the secondary, but when combined with the power and skill sets of the individual tight ends they form an imposing wall of weapons that the Patriots can bring at you in waves.

The popular view is that former St. Louis Rams' receiver Danny Amendola is a replacement for Welker - a job that actually will fall to rookie Josh Boyce if the speedster comes as advertised - and though the skill sets are similar, Amendola's game is more about suddenness and speed as both a slot presence and also a perimeter threat...and he proved to be the guy that coach Bill Belichick wanted all along, as his signing made Welker's agent's whining about money something that the team didn't have to deal with any longer.

And...aw, man...haters...

...Ever since Spygate every hater in the civilized world, parts of Canada and the IRS views the Patriots are cheaters, and said with a heavy Southie accent...you see where I'm going with this?

We can't use Cheetahs - the haters would have a field day with that play on words, and animal rights activists would be up in arms, not to mention that the Hoveround people would be unhappy as well because Cheetahs are much faster and far more dexterous than their machines...

...and if you think Hoverounds take you where you wanna go, wait until you get a load of of one of those big cats slowly coming out of the tranquilizer fog and realizing that its duct taped to a 300 pound man...

So it's good thing that Belichick went all in with receivers this offseason, both in free agency and through the draft - free agent pickups Donald Jones, Lavelle Hawkins and Mike Jenkins represent an odd lot for sure, as either bust or underachiever tags come with all of them while draft picks Aaron Dobson and Josh Boyce couldn't be any more different.

While Jenkins has had some success in his 10 years under the shield, many assumed that his best days were behind him, and those days weren't that much to talk about anyway - so who else would have formed an immediate chemistry with Quarterback Tom Brady?

Jenkins earned the unfortunate nickname of "Molasses Mike" due to lack of track speed - which hardly strikes fear in opposing corners - but at 6' 4", 220 pounds he is an imposing target on the perimeter and is a solid blocker,  and seems to have gained favor with Brady, his veteran attitude and work ethic and pass catching skill attributes that instills confidence with the perennial Pro Bowl quarterback.

Hawkins came into the league as a fourth round pick of the Tennessee Titans in 2008 and has started one game and has all of 71 receptions and one lonely touchdown to his credit in five full years riding the pine in Nashville.  At first many thought the Hawkins signing was deemed as bringing in competition in camp, but a $150,000 signing bonus suggests otherwise - the team expects Hawkins and his 4.49 speed to carve a niche in the offense for himself .

Patriots fans will remember Jones as the poor geek that Vince Wilfork decleated in their drubbing of the Bills in Buffalo last season, becoming the the poster child for the Patriots' intimidating defense in the process.  Like Hawkins, Jones is not terribly tall but is quick and served as a somewhat reliable possession-type receiver for the Bills after signing a rookie free agent contract with them in 2010.

In fact, the Bills organization was so enamoured with Jones that they were hoping that with his speed he would take charge of the #1 receiver slot on their roster, but the emergence of Stevie Johnson and the recurrence of IgA nephropathy, a kidney disease that can lead to total, abrupt kidney failure dropped Jones to the status of afterthought with the Bills, who released him early in the offseason process.

While none of this sounds intimidating, it is true nonetheless that Amendola and Jenkins will enter camp as the starters at wide receiver, the hope being that second round draft pick Aaron Dobson will supplant Jenkins and relegate him to a backup role - Dobson is much faster but both are big bodied pass catchers with incredible hands.

Dobson has had some concentration lapses in OTA's while Jenkins has been Johnny-on-the-spot on the other end of Brady's bullets, so Dobson's progress in camp will be one of the more intriguing story lines...

...as will be the status of roadrunner Josh Boyce.  A legitimate speed merchant that Belichick drafted in the fourth round, Boyce owns just about every receiving record there is at TCU.  A bigger slot receiver, Boyce can earn his money using his initial move off the line of scrimmage to gain a step on the nickle corner and his 4.38 speed to run away from him.

It is possible - in fact probable - that all of the afore mentioned will make the Patriots' 53 man roster, Boyce and occasionally Amendola in the slot, though Amendola will be used primarily as a perimeter threat, greyhounds Jones and Hawkins providing speedy depth and big bodies Jenkins and Dobson hauling in the tough catches outside the numbers.

Though there are numerous story lines involving broken and mending tight ends, the x-factor in the Patriots offense is still Aaron Hernandez - an H-back for all intents and purposes, Hernandez has to be included in the mix at wide receiver and in the slot, essentially giving Brady the most diverse and potentially talented group he's ever had in New England...

...Belichick leaving nothing to chance, bringing in the pieces that are versatile enough to play it anyway he wants it, with the size and skill sets to make an injury or two not so devastating, and when one stops to consider that at some point the Patriots are going to be able to field a lineup including names like Gronkowski, Ballard, Hernandez, Jenkins and Dobson as bigs with Amendola, Boyce and either Jones or Hawkins as the speedsters, it is collectively intimidating.

Not even mentioned is Julien Edelman who started to blossom as a regular contributor last season, but has had a hard time staying on the field and has reportedly had a setback in his recovery from a broken bone in his foot and it is unclear what the expectations are for Edelman in 2013, but at this point he looks like loose baggage or a candidate for the IR or release.

So it looks as if Bill Belichick has been able to avoid the whole Cheetah/Duct Tape deal by bringing in a few greyhounds to stretch the field and abiding by the most fundamental rule in all of offensive football, that being to make the opposing defense defend the entire field...

...and if things go as planned, the opposition will find itself being stampeded by all manner of metaphoric beasts downfield - and we haven't even struck on the fine stable of horses in the backfield...

Next: 4.2 yards and a cloud of rubber tire pellets...

New England Patriots on Paper: Juggernaut derailed or just rescheduled?

If the New England Patriots learned anything from the past two seasons, its that even the best laid, even keeled plans can take a sideways turn into the surreal, even as far as to plunge into the maw of the preposterous at times...

...and so as free agency opened and the draft approached, it became very clear that something extraordinary was going to have to happen - and that something was insurance against the injury bug that destroyed yet another trophy run in 2013, just as it had the year before.

And it's not as if there was a need for superstars or starting quality rookies, rather, prudence dictated that obtaining quality depth at every position was imperative, with a focus on the defensive secondary and the receiving corps - and they got both, in abundance. 

It wasn't a flashy draft and free agency was void of top-shelf headline material, but the Patriots covered their bases like no other team could have and came away with pure magic.

Even so, the Patriots offseason has veered off into a weird H. P. Lovecraft-style tale, complete with freakishly large men having their bodies cut open and repaired under total secrecy while the team as a whole is going through a collective strength and conditioning program and a continued emphasis on getting younger and faster and staying healthy...

...which has been a very real issue as several core members of the team missed significant time last season, most notably the tight ends and in the secondary.  Had quality depth been in place, we may well be talking "repeat" instead of relaying our hopes for getting a reasonable facsimile of a full season out of several key players.

There's no denying that football is a rough sport - as physically taxing and destructive as any on the planet and sometimes surgery is the only way to repair the damage, but what the Patriots tight end position has been through for the past 18 months borders on absurd - and it has been just recently in that span that we've learned of many of how broad the scope really was.

Rob Gronkowski has now had four operations on his right forearm and is scheduled for a procedure on his spine within the next few weeks.  Chances are high that Gronkowski will be a candidate for the Physically Unable to Perform (PUP) list to start the season, becoming eligible to be activated to the roster after six weeks of the season has passed.

Aaron Hernandez had some scope work done on his shoulder and new kid Jake Ballard is coming off microfracture surgery that cost him all of the 2012 season - none of this the kind of news that gives one any sense of optimism going forward...

...and the psychological issue for these players shouldn't be discounted either as there's a certain amount of anxiety that comes with returning to the field after a major injury.  We saw it with Hernandez short-arming balls and favoring his rolled up ankle after he spent three weeks on the skids, also with defensive end Chandler Jones, who clearly did not display the same burst when he returned from his own ankle issues.

But there's not a better example of the effect that a physical injury has on the brain that when the team opted to bring Gronkowski back too early.  When Belichick saw Gronk trying to block as an in line end, that should have been the end for him until the AFC title game - at the earliest.

Giving full effort, the mammoth tight end was reduced to delivering the equivalent of a stiff arm to the defensive end, while holding his broken right arm out and away from his body like a bird would a broken wing...

...sheer brute strength and iron will in play more than technique, unable to protect himself as a blocker without causing further damage to his broken wing - a willing receiver, but the injury forced him into a vulnerability that was a danger to his welfare and he should have been shut down right then, at least until the Super Bowl

Hindsight being what it is, it's easy to sit back and spout off about that now, but the fact is that there were many who felt that way back then - and these are the same people who believe that the Patriots have missed out on at least one more trophy in-part because the athletically gifted tank of a tight end, the very one who creates matchup issues just by stepping onto the field, the one who opens up the field for others and gives Tom Brady a reliable safety valve - was broken and unable to contribute.

Truth.

It's scary to think that the Patriots' offensive philosophy for the past three years in large part took it's parameters from the mismatches that Gronkowski and fellow freakish tight end Hernandez created in theory - a powerful thing to witness, yet we've seen it so seldom the past 18 months that it doesn't even rate a ripple on the NFL seismograph any longer.

Everything on the offense suffered due to their injuries last season, and only the determination of the running game and inspired efforts from Tom Brady and Wes Welker and the stylings of one of the best offensive lines in football had them in the AFC Title game...

...but the wheels fell off as Gronkowski had previously been lost for the season and Aqib Talib came up lame in the first quarter against the Ravens - the result of both injuries were as predictable as the Patriots became because of them, and Baltimore was able to focus on pushing New England's offensive and defensive lines around without having to worry about Gronk trampling them and Talib blanketing them.

Ah, but the secondary is a story all unto itself, and we'll get to that soon enough - right now the focus needs to be on the receiving corps - which has gotten bigger by leaps and bounds, faster and younger by design - a design that has put an emphasis on size to try and protect their oft-injured stars by making the opposing defense defend the entire field.

And that is the point, making the defense defend the entire field.  The Patriots have not been doing this, instead relying on diminutive slot receivers and Brady's arm to move the sticks while leaving their two best weapons, Gronk and Hernandez, on individual islands with zero protection - and when one of them gets hurt, which was inevitable given the protracted number of reps, we get the heartbreak of 2012.  And 2011.

If the Patriots are to have a chance at their 4th Lombardi Trophy, things had to change - and they have, at least on paper - not in the ranks of the tight ends where depth is still an issue, but in the outside targets that in theory will eliminate some of the hazards that have felled the tight ends in recent years...

...the outside speed means that safeties have to cover their deep zones, preventing them from sneaking up in the box to chop their legs and forces the overall defensive scheme of their opponents to go small - in effect, nickle and diming them - and when that happens, we get to see things like running backs sprinting trough gaping holes and the tight ends wide open down the slot.

But chances are that we will not see the athleticism of the tight ends in full effect until after Halloween, what with Gronkowski in Frankenstein mode, but the duo of Hernandez, Ballard, Michael Hoomanawanui and either Daniels Fells or undrafted free agent Zach Sudfeld filling the bill while Gronkowski gets in game shape on the PUP...

...and that should be enough, delaying the juggernaut without midseason injuries cancelling it all together - particularly with the massive upgrade at the receiver positions, which is where we focus next...

Tomorrow: Tape a cheetah to their backs...

New England Patriots on Paper - updating the "Summer of Gronk" debacle

It seems that we are about to get some closure on the nightmare-ish sequel to the Summer of Gronk...

...an offseason that has seen Patriots' tight End Rob Gronkowski vilified by journalist and fan alike for his seeming disregard for his own health - and there is something to it, as Gronkowski's antics have reminded old-school types of the old NFL, where the players worked hard and partied harder.

Gronkowski is a throwback, though it is his apparent naivete to blame for his cavalier behavior rather than any sort drunken irresponsibility or ill will.  His want and desire is to play football and, when healthy, he is the prototype - the standard by which all NFL Tight Ends are compared.

Regardless, he has become a whipping boy for the media and some portend to link the news of his impending back surgery to said disregard for his own health, when in reality it is just some minor preventative maintenance that popped up in the media when the Patriots decided to seize the opportunity to cut a potential problem off at the pass.

It's widely known as the "And While We're At It" syndrome, a common thread among divorce lawyers, football coaches and, apparently, top-shelf orthopedic spine surgeons...

...Dr. Robert Watkins has been commissioned to perform the surgery, which will occur sometime in mid-June at the very nice sounding Marina Del Rey Hospital in Los Angeles - a time frame that will theoretically place the recovery both from his recent forearm surgery and the impending back procedure at similar points in mid-August, which probably has Gronkowski starting the season on the Physically Unable to Perform (PUP) list.

The author of many papers and a couple of books on the subject of spine surgery, Dr. Watkins is a "renowned expert in orthopaedic injuries to the back and neck.", according to his profile on the website for Watkins Spine - for which he is the namesake - and is known for what he terms as "minimally invasive" surgery, for which it is described as the performance of spine surgery through an approach that causes as little destruction to surrounding tissues as possible...

...which is all medical gobbledygook for getting "scoped", doing a little housekeeping in Gronk's spine...

Smack in the middle of the pre-season schedule is no time to be coming off the skids and conditioning will be a real issue, so a common theme among the experts is a debate over whether the Patriots try to integrate Gronkowski into action as soon as possible, or give him a PUP list designation to ensure that he's 100% and is in football shape.

If designated to the PUP, Gronkowski would have the first six weeks of the season to get in shape before he is eligible to return to the active roster and would appear the more prudent choice.

But why the delay?  If they knew he needed the procedure, why wait until now?

Simply, he could have done without the surgery at this point and they probably wouldn't be doing the back procedure at all if the multiple forearm surgeries hadn't set him back - but since they did, and the timing seemed about right, the decision was made.

" 'we're killing two birds with one stone' by getting the back surgery when he's out and recovering with his arm, because he really can't do much right now anyway." said his agent Drew Rosenhaus on a radio interview Thursday morning.

According to league sources, the purpose for waiting on back surgery for the two-time All Pro was to ensure that the infection that had plagued Gronkowski in his broken forearm had been eradicated, thereby providing a solid recovery timetable - and when that timetable had been established with some certainty, the stars aligned and a go-ahead was issued.

"This is a lingering problem that Rob's been playing with, actually through all of last season" Rosenhaus explained, "And now that he's out with the arm for a set period of time, it's something that he eventually would have to do, and the recovery will be very comparable to the amount of time he would have missed with the arm surgery, so why not get it done now and make sure when he is healthy he's 100 percent and he doesn't have to address the back down the road."

Indeed!  Let's cut into Gronk's spine!

The Patriots' seized the opportunity to have a procedure done to reduce the odds for having to deal with it in the future, since he was going to be on the mend anyway.  But what does all of this mean -for not just Gronkowski, but for the very offensive philosophy of the Patriots?

Tomorrow: Part 2 - Juggernaut derailed, or just rescheduled?

Summer of Gronk, the sequel: When you wish upon a star...

...makes no difference who you are - unless, of course, you are Rob Gronkowski, and every mother hen from Connecticut to Maine wants to lock you in a bird cage, where you shall remain until Stromboli - um - I mean Bill Belichick needs you to perform.

They mean well, these doting old-world types, and all they really want is to help you to steer clear of the trappings of fame and fortune, but where the problems start is when you realize that it's not a gaggle of chicken soup toting blue hairs, but pear-shaped, balding fanatics that need you to stay healthy for their fantasy league...

...or random tabloid journalists who are acting as some sort of a wrong-minded, impromptu Jiminy Cricket, a very public collective conscience that seems to go out of it's way to suggest that the infection in Gronkowski's arm was somehow related to him not being "all in" on his recovery from a broken forearm.

Regardless of which it actually is, the summer of the man widely considered to be the best tight end in the league when healthy has been reduced to a nightmare of scalpels and bad publicity - the former can't be helped due to his broken forearm, but the latter is a creation of beat writers who need something to consume their time before training camp...and Gronkowski seems to be their target.

And now, a tale of a potential back issue that reportedly may require surgery - which is random speculation at this point, but it seems a trifle odd that Gronkowski's back issue has arisen in the media just recently, the thing timed with Gronkowski's 4th arm surgery and perhaps meant as a distraction from the fact that the Boston Globe started the Gronkowski hate-fest and the prognosis is far better than their doomsday style blather predicted.

and it's just a little hard to believe that a back issue that plagued the team doctors and trainers all last season was bad enough to require surgery and it wasn't addressed until now?

Perhaps it stems from the infection in Gronkowski's arm, the reason why it hasn't been addressed before now, but still, something ain't stirring the kool aid.

The Patriots don't work that way.  Have you ever seen a Bill Belichick injury report?  Typically there are about two dozen players with assorted maladies, but nary a mention of Gronkowski's back...

...which wasn't the case coming out of college, when it was widely speculated that Gronkowski suffered from Spinal Stenosis - a condition which causes the narrowing of the canal that encases the spinal cord, a condition that could cause paralysis upon the impact of a routine hit or even a twist when making a cut running a route - but that turned out to not be the case, as no NFL team would have touched him in the draft had the rumor been true.

Those concerns came up once again when it was revealed that the 2011 All Pro had undergone an MRI on his back to address what is being termed as "chronic back pain" and will speak with a noted spine specialist sometime in the next few days...

...but perhaps he should speak with a noted wood carver who could make his body strong and a Blue Fairy that could grant wishes, that way the only procedure he'd have to go through is if he tells too many lies and has to have a few inches shaved off his nose so it will fit in his helmet.

Gronkowski hasn't lied about anything, not even responding to the media generated hate-fest that has the public stirred into a froth other than his bright, neon "Sorry for partying" tank top that he sported at Universal Studios - but Gronk doesn't have to be apologetic about anything, because being a real boy comes with it's bumps and bruises...